I need to escape this place. Quickly. Preferably , once Ive done my course. Actually. I am going to change my preference now s ee if i can get into sunshine coast.

fck this place off and the people.

Dear Fish.
I love you. I wish you were real. You give me butterflies. You make me smile. You make me cry. You make me warm when I am cold. You leapt right from those pages and put your arms around me.
Your everything. I need a replicate.

2008. The Year As It Reaches Climax.

From the top of my head.
The things in order I have achieved this year.

______________________________________________________________________________
1. Getting wasted and carried back to my friends by the 'Parent Patrol'

2. I got extensions which I wore for a week lol

2.5. I read CloudStreet and it changed my perception of life.

3. First hung out with some of the people that are now my best friends

4. I got my first tattoo

5. Did the best Chemical of my life

6. Got the cutest hair cut ever. Which I fucking miss!

7. Had a crazy teacher that called me an indecent human being

8. Quit Maths, and have not done it since. Best decision ever, really.

9. Went to Fraser Island, and it got me stirred

10. Did 8 exams in one week. Did an exam on my birthday. Lucky i got an A or else..*shakes fist*

11. Got another few tattoos sometime between that gap.

11.5. I had a pirate party and vowled it was my last ever one.

12. Failed my first driving test.

13. Passed my second driving test.

14. Got Buttercup, my little sweetie

15. Made good friends with someone and people didnt believe I had my licence!

16. Dyed my fringe pink, purple and blue

17. Nana got bowel cancer.

18. I came home and cried one day for moving to rank out of OP

19. I finally told this really annoying girl in my class to shut the fuck up.

20. I went to a party with people from school and got close to a lot of people

21. I had nose surgery. Finally, i was able to breathe out of my nose.

22. I got told I was a completely different person from who I was last year. And I couldnt agree more, it just reinforced it.

23. Its the saddest I've ever felt for a night.

24. I had 2 boyfriends. Two of which I messed it.

25. I constantly got in trouble for my tattoos at school.

26. I saw Story of the Year, Panic at the Disco, Alexisonfire and Scary Kids Scaring Kids. It was great.

27. I got to play Horror Pops for my class. I don't think they liked it. They kind of stared doe eyed.

28. I said no to the scariest teacher at my school but I couldnt keep a straight face so i ruined it!

29. I fell completely in love with a fictional character. And not fucking Edward Cullen. No, he's special.

30. I found it hard to deal without Stephanie

31. I dyed my hair blonde.

32. A teacher for some reason assumed i had an abortion, was severely hungover and smoked pot. Hahhaha she should look at herself.

33. I got betrayed. Very severely.

34. Mum got really sick, and i took on the Nursing role.

35. I got into my Nursing course and realized I didnt want anything else.

36. I took out 90% of my piercings

37. I am obsessed with tattoos.

Well the time has come. School has ended, well..not quite. In 10 days. But I count that as finished, in a ratio of the start and the end. I feel relieved, yet a little uncertain; sometimes I actually liked doing the work. Sometimes. For some things.


But mostly I feel a great sense of loss towards something. I can't wait to leave. Most things about school annoyed the living shit out of me. Their conventional beliefs; their tiny scope on what they regard as 'intelligence', their constant disbeliefs in my ability because of my alternative attitude, uniform rules. The whole thing really.

But I will miss not being able to share my writing actually. I'll miss not getting an assignment and just finding the right words to articulate it. I'll miss not spending time on my english assignments tweaking it; discovering new words; new meanings; new views on life. I'll miss geography, and hearing about how the world works, how special the environment is. I'll miss my friends and the Rebel Gang. I'll miss the help I got, and i will miss getting in trouble!

But its time for me. I cant wait to have pink hair, and get new tattoos and have new piercings and finally be able to be myself. The last year has taught me alot, and without it I would have been the mess I was two years ago. It just goes to show really.

You're naive to believe, that God would find you.
Sensually carved scars, arms tainted with precious burn marks
Travel with me to our sweet pandemonium.
Addict to our divine despair. Let the heroin take us away.
Let's get drunk on shadows. Killing ourselves one breath at a time.
Running your blade over my spine.
My lungs are aching, like a smoke filled window.
Ash exhaled. Poison enriches our bloodstream.
Let the needle hit your vein, so we can forget our pain.

Lets be free. A chaos of our own.
Our world, heroin, its all us. Everything.
Dance with me won't you. Rest in my arms.
You said this would be forever.
Let's learn how to die together.

I'm very tired. Bloodshot, but I don't want to disapoint them.
I know I will, and if i hear the words 'so close'
I will cry.

Baby didn't I tell you. The first cut is always the deepest.
I promise angel. It hurts more and more.
When the scar tissue wraps tighter. Lick your lips in pleasure.
Oh you will.
Watching your skin rip off, is just the warmest pain
A pretty purple scar, our monetary gain.
Cherry flavoured blood. The surprises keep coming.
Don't tell me, this isn't better then your first orgasm.

And society will say. Stop it! Don't hurt yourself.
They'll try to lock you up. Straightjacket. Take away your trusty razorblade.
But don't listen, Angel. They're full of lives.
They won't care for you, like your friendly butcher knife.


Wear your scars with pride. But never let those people inside.
Never tell them our little secret.
When you cut that gash in your arm. Pain is shooting like a star
Happiness is really just a slice away.
:)